there is this core group of folks that i run with. run with, meaning hang with. we do the dancing thing, the boozing thing, the all over the map no plan in hand thing and that's when i have the best nights with these folks. last night was a chaotic fumble of random happenstances, so random that i, myself was called random.
i'm into substance these days. stop thinking drugs and start thinking meat. i don't have time to idle my brain when i am with company. i feed off the stimulation that other human beings give me. last night, i felt human. i felt it all around me. when i looked at my friends i felt wholesome and that perhaps this was the beginning of a family forming, i think i found a place to park. sometimes my need for definition can hinder that, perhaps it has my whole life. but on this third day of my new life, i'm not looking for answers that other people give me, i'm looking for the questions that i'm asking to be answered by me.
pressure is released.
i met someone last night that looked at me the way that i look at myself in the mirror. their smile confirmed the fondness of my smile. their eyes were gentle and every glimpse i had into them, i smirked with feelings of passion. and when we spoke it was like dancing; rhythmic, smooth and confident.
i can still connect.
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