fuck, it hurts to stay awake.

i wanna new drug

perhaps i can't sleep because i'm thinking about wanting to sleep.
my skin and weight are suffering from my insomnia.
i should have gone to the show.

air time

i'm finding it harder and harder to remain calm and nice. my "trust fund" is running out and i'm still on the line for a job. i feel like i want to disconnect myself from things for awhile but have been advised that that might not be the best thing to do, especially in moments like this.
i'm trying to figure out the what's, the where's, the why's.
this seemed easier 5 hours ago.
now i'm just getting angry.
i need to channel this somewhere else.

i am not ready for people ... yet.

part blank

the blank is the masochist in me.

it's been almost 4 months, i'm counting. and will admit, that sometimes i wait for the phone to ring.

the fall is coming, the air changed this weekend to warn us. i love the fall, it's my favorite season. from my bedroom window i can already see the colours of the leaves changing. fall=fashion for me. i love the layering, the textures, the colours and the footwear! i have been very frugal lately with spending on clothes. i have so many and i need to learn how to recycle the pieces i have. that will be another blog of pics on my flickr ... i'm going to attempt being a "sixer".

in the meantime, i am still learning how to be with other people. i haven't gone on any dates yet. it hasn't bothered me, i feel like i have some control on this and that comforts me.